If You Loved Me
by Calico
Summary: A fix for the movie ending and then what happens 3 years later (Complete)
1.

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:I do not own these characters or the originating story lines.Thomas Harris receives full credit for that.Any new characters and this story are mine (although I will not profit from it), so please ask before archiving.

Summary:Sort of a fix for the movie ending, and then continuing on.It stems from Dr. Lecter's question to Clarice.I hated her answer (among other things) and felt the movie could have ended a lot better.But that's neither here nor there.Hope you enjoy!

Rating: PG-13

Author:Calico[calico321@yahoo.com][1]

Title:"If You Loved Me"

Chapter 1: Love and Honor

"Would you ever say to me, 'Stop, if you loved me you'd stop'?"

Leaning against the refrigerator, her ponytail trapped in the door, Clarice felt the words penetrate her mind.The morphine left her slightly fussy, but she knew she heard those words correctly.Her body stilled for a moment of pure clarity."Is that what this is all about, doctor?" she croaked."You *_love_* me?" 

He steadily gazed at her."For someone so smart, you can be truly dense, my dear."

The sirens, reminding Clarice of her choice upstairs, sounded in the distance."With all due respect Doctor Lecter, do you expect me to believe you're in love with me?And after all that you've done, do you expect me to believe you'd stop simply upon *_my request*_?"

With hands on either side of her head, Lecter leaned in menacingly with teeth bared, yet Clarice did not flinch."That's my girl."He closed the distance and gently laid his lips against hers.It was an experiment at first, letting her feel his flesh against hers so intimately.When she didn't squirm or turn her head, he began the kiss in earnest.He captured her lower lip, gently sucking it, and then did the same with the upper.For his efforts he was rewarded with a soft moan, then he felt the metal slip around his wrist and heard the ominous click.He raised his left arm, her right trailing it connected by the links of the handcuffs."Well this is interesting Clarice.I hope this is more metaphorical than literal."

"Doctor, I have to do my job…"

"Job?What job Clarice?They dropped you like a, what would you say, hot potato."The sirens grew louder."As much as I would like continue this session, I really am pressed for time.Where's the key?"

Capturing her lower lip in her teeth she simply shook her head, a single tear running down her cheek.Lecter cased the kitchen quickly and grabbed the butcher's knife on the work island.He brought their joined wrists over to the counter next to the refrigerator and waved the knife above."What do you say Clarice, above or below?" he asked pantomiming on either side of her cuff."This is really going to hurt."

The tears were coming full force now, but even through the haze she saw the smirk on his face.Licking away a tear that dripped down to the corner of her mouth, she said, "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?After _everything_ I've done?What's a little dismemberment among friends?"

_*Damn*_, Clarice thought to herself.*_He's never done anything to hurt me; he's even risked his life and freedom to see me*_.Releasing the breath she'd been holding she reached her left hand down into the bodice of her dress and removed the key.Lecter dropped the knife and reached for it but she quickly snatched it out of his way, concealing it in her clutched fist."Stop.If you love me you'll stop."

He virtually trembled as the words ricocheted around his head."I can't return to prison Clarice," he said simply.

"Very well.But I want your word as a gentleman, you will harm no one, not one little bit, not ever again."He stared at her, speechless for once.Emboldened to go on, she delivered the final, crushing blow."And I never want to hear from you again.No more enigmatic notes on expensive stationary, no more extravagant presents, and no more goddamned dinner parties.Believe it or not, but the lambs are much quieter when you're not on my periphery."Like a sleight of hand magician the key reappeared in her fingers."On your honor Hannibal Lecter, or pick up that cleaver and hack it off."She lowered her hand to him.

"On my honor, Clarice, you will never hear from me again," he said dryly, plucking the key from her hand.Swiftly the two cuffs were opened.The key and handcuffs quickly disappeared into his pocket and he turned towards the back door, the ominous sounds of the coming authorities biding him to hurry. 

"Wait!Let me out of here," she cried.He turned to her, eyes hard and cold.Picking up the door handle, he wordlessly used it as a lever to pry open the refrigerator door.She freed her hair and massaged her scalp as he dropped the handle at her feet, his eyes never leaving hers.He turned and walked out the door.

She found him uncoupling a fishing boat with an outboard motor from the pier below the house.A few yards away to the right a tiny dinghy bounced with the Chesapeake's waves.Walking up the pier she watched him finish his preparations.Not bothering to turn and look at her he inquired,"What will you tell them?"

"The truth.You brought me here after I was shot.When I woke up I phoned the police and went downstairs to find you – butchering – Paul Krendler.I tried to stop you.You ran out here, we struggled, and you wounded me before escaping."He finally looked up and noticed she was carrying the butcher's knife at her side with a napkin around the handle.As he looked on she raised it to her opposite shoulder and drew it slowly across the skin.The wound immediately blossomed and blood flowed down her arm.The knife fell to the ground, both knowing it held his fingerprints.The napkin disappeared into her bodice.He nodded, and continued readying the small boat for departure.

The sound of car doors and shouting informed the duo that their time was just about up.Hannibal pushed the boat from the dock and used an oar to propel it soundlessly further down the bay towards an outcropping of trees to the left.Looking steadily at her he said, "I do, you know."

Clarice, who had been looking towards the house, turned her eyes back to the water, her brow creased in confusion, asked, "Do what?"

"Love you," he said moments before the boat disappeared behind the first of the trees.Clarice had no time to process his declaration as footfalls and voices told her they were coming.She quickly moved off towards the dinghy, as if she were looking for something.

"Freeze!Hands where I can see them!"

She raised her hands into the air and said, "Clarice Starling.I'm the one who called you boys."

Continued

   [1]: mailto:calico321@yahoo.com



	2. 

Disclaimer:

Chapter 2:The Devil You Know

Three Years Later

"Hello, Bedford County Sheriff's Office, Deputy Starling speaking…Yes this is Clarice Starling…No sir I am not willing to…Please understand that was a very long time ago…You really must speak with the FBI for that kind of information…No sir I haven't had lunch yet but…sigh Really sir this isn't something I like to get into…long pause All right lunch, say in 15 minutes, Polly's Grill on Main Street.You can't miss it, there's a giant parrot on the roof.'Bye."Clarice put the receiver back into the cradle and held her hand there for a few moments.*_Don't they ever get enough of this crap?*_ she thought.Standing, she grabbed her hat and gun belt."Davis I'm goin' out to lunch.Want anything?"

"Starling you need to take the lake patrol this afternoon," Davis whined.

"I'll be there later, nothing ever happens round here anyway."

"You know what the Sheriff says," he warned.

Clarice rolled her eyes.'Watch your ass Starling,' was about what it came down to.Sheriff Mills apparently was never introduced to the 21st century and still felt women didn't belong in law enforcement.Adding on Clarice's extra baggage didn't make her the ideal candidate for the job, but since there were no other good applicants and Mills couldn't come up with a solid reason for not hiring her, she got the job by default.But that didn't mean he wouldn't use any excuse necessary to fire her."I have a right to a lunch break same as you Davis.See you in an hour."

Polly's was hopping with the lunchtime crowd.Clarice realized she had no idea what her lunch date looked like.Fortunately with her uniform of brown shirt and tan pants, the badge and her gun belt, Clarice was more than conspicuous.A young man in a back booth stood up and waved to her.She waved back and started walking towards him, taking a moment to order coffee from the waitress behind the counter, who met her at the table.

"Hiya Clarice," the woman whose nametag read 'Bea' said pouring the coffee."What can I get y'all today?"

"What's the special, Bea?"

"Hot open faced roast beef sandwiches, with slaw on the side.Mmm mmm."

"Put me down for one of those, but can I get a salad instead of the slaw?"

"Sure thing sugar."Bea looked at the young man and said, "What about you stranger?" with a wink.

"Just a burger with everything on it, extra onions please, and a chocolate milkshake."

"Be right back, y'all," Bea said heading back to the kitchen to place the order.

"I'm glad you came Miss Starling," the man started.

"That's Deputy Starling, thank you.And you're Matt McIntyre?"He didn't look to be more that 25, tall and slim, with longish strawberry-blond hair and vivid green eyes.

"At your service," he said with a smile of perfectly straight, white teeth."As I tried to tell you on the phone, I'm a graduate student at the University of Chicago, and I'm doing my final psychology thesis on serial killers.Very interesting, I've got tons of material on Dahmer and Bundy, but what I'm focused on is Dr. Lecter.I was really hoping you could provide me with some insight, you being the foremost expert and all."

Clarice looked him straight in the eye, "I am not the foremost expert on Dr. Lecter.As far as I know there is no such thing.No one knows anything about him."

"But you've had the most personal contact of anyone, really.You even survived an attack from him almost unscathed."He leaned forward on the table."I really want this to be a spectacular paper and I could really use your help.No one's going to see it except my professor, and he'll just throw it onto the heap with the rest of the papers.What do you say, give me a chance will ya?"

Clarice felt her resolve crumbling.She'd resolutely stayed away from journalists and those petty hacks, wanting to ghostwrite the incredible true story that would make her rich and famous.Clarice wanted to be neither.But all this boy wanted was a term paper, and nothing else.What harm could come?

"Fine, we'll talk, but I won't promise you anything."

"Great!"The kid nearly leapt from the booth.He pulled a notebook and pen out of the bag at his side and began to write.Bea showed up with their food so he had to scoot his notebook over."I'm starved," he said picking up the burger and taking a huge bite.

Clarice almost laughed, as she cut a bite of her gravy soaked sandwich.It was divine.

"OK," Matt said after consuming almost half his burger."Where to start?Umm, let's see.OK I got it!What was Dr. Lecter like?What's your most vivid memory of him?"

*What's your worst memory from childhood?* 

"Hmm?" Clarice looked confused."What do I remember about him?He's an elitist snob who demands the best of everything.He's also a sociopath with no other considerations than his own amusement."She leaned back in the booth, looking at the ceiling."He likes to play with people, not unlike the cat plays with the mouse.And the end is pretty much the same."She returned her gaze to the man across from her."I amused him."

"Do you know why?"

"I was an interesting diversion from the tedium of the hospital.No more, no less."

"Weren't you ever worried he'd come back for you, to finish the game, after he escaped, I mean?"

"No."****

"Why?"

"Because he told me he wouldn't."

Matt looked skeptical and asked, "But couldn't he have lied?"

"Mr. McIntyre, Dr. Hannibal Lecter is considered a monster by some, but he also adheres to a strict code of conduct, noted for courtesy and honesty." She shrugged."People tend to associate his tendency towards cannibalism with dishonesty and other general malfeasance, but the fact is he is the most honorable person I've ever met."She took another bite.

"Why do you think he liked you?"

Clarice paused halfway through chewing and leveled a gaze at him.She finished the bite and swallowed before saying, "What do you mean, *_liked*_?"

"Well, I mean, he helped you with the Buffalo Bill case and all.Before that he wouldn't give anyone the time of day."

"He didn't *_help*_ me Mr. McIntyre, like I said before, I amused him; he only did what suited himself.It may be a bit before your time, but in your research you must know he utilized that situation to facilitate his escape, causing the death of five more people."

"Yes, yes, I know all that, but he *_talked*_ to you.I have some bootlegged tapes of your conversations…"

"What?!" Clarice practically spit her meal out.

"You know, underground stuff, most of it is just tape hiss, 'cause they've been copied so much, but there's definitely some chemistry between the two of you."

"Good God," Clarice moaned.She brought her hand up to her forehead as if feeling for a temperature.

"Don't worry, no one believes they're real, except me of course.Well let's move on to something else.How about the night three years ago when you almost caught him.He injured your right?"

_*You wounded me.*_

"What did you say?"

"I said he injured you, cut your arm right?"

At the mention of it, the scar on her arm burned and she thought if she looked there would be a singe mark on her shirtsleeve.The bullet wound only bothered her on cold, wet nights, and had hardly scarred at all.But the thin line that cut a diagonal down her arm never healed quite right, thanks in no small part to the inept hospital resident that stitched her up and a subsequent infection.She rubbed the spot in question now and nodded her affirmation.Then with no forethought she mumbled, "No more than I wounded him."

"I'm sorry?"

"What?"

"You said something I didn't catch."

"No I didn't."

Matt just licked his lips and continued on."Considering the fate of, say, Will Graham, don't you count yourself lucky that you got away with only a scratch?"

"It's hardly a scratch," she muttered."And besides," she said in a stronger voice, "I'd just rescued him from Mason Verger's estate.He'd think it uncouth to not reciprocate in kind."

"Reciprocate?Is that like quid pro quo?" he asked with a sly grin."So you two have been trading off for some time now.What did he trade for his freedom?"

*If you loved me…* 

"What's that supposed to mean?"Clarice pushed her half empty plate aside angrily."What are you implying?"

"Nothing, honest."Matt held up his hands in mock surrender."But you know I was just thinking, no one's heard anything from Dr. Lecter since that night.Like he's being on his best behavior.Why do you think that is?"

*On my honor…* 

"He went to ground for eight years after his escape.He's not stupid Mr. McIntyre, he isn't going to risk his freedom so easily."

"But he risked it by trying to see you?That seems pretty stupid to me."

"I don't know why he did that."

"Are you sure?You know what I think?I think he loves you."

The blood drained from Clarice's face as she stared across the table."What ever gave you that idea?" she barely choked out.

"It's true, isn't it?" Matt was on her like a dog with a new marrowbone.He was practically slavering onto the table.

"N-no, it is not true!"

"But he said something, right?C'mon tell me, you let him go didn't you?"

Clarice shook her head."He was lying."

"But you told me he never lies."

_*I do, you know.*_

It took Clarice several moments to figure out the wailing sound she heard was coming from her own mouth.Bea rushed over."Clarice darlin', you ok?Honey look at me.You look like somethin' the cat drug in, are you sick?"

She pushed aside the helping hands of the waitress and saw Matt staring at her, lips parted slightly, eyes wide, the word 'Eureka' all but written in the air above his head."I'm fine.I gotta get back."She slid out of the booth getting money out of her pocket to pay the bill."Mr. McIntyre," she said shortly and started to walk away.

"I'll send you a copy of the paper when I'm done, Deputy," he happily called out to her.

"Don't bother," she replied over her shoulder.

Six months later a copy of"Star Cross'd: Romeo and Juliet Syndrome" by Matthew McIntyre was delivered to her door by UPS.

Continued


	3. 

Disclaimer:

Chapter 3:The Domino Factor

Clarice was home, having to work the 3-11 shift that night, when the package came.For a tense moment she worried it was from Dr. Lecter.But he'd vowed never to contact her again and the relief she should have felt was bitter.

Opening the large brown envelope, she pulled out a bound manuscript.On the cover, centered horizontally and vertically in 28 pt Times New Roman was the title: "Star Cross'd: Romeo and Juliet Syndrome".Underneath, in more modest 18 pt was the author, Matthew McIntyre.The entire composition was about 200 pages, bound by clasps on three points along the left margin.

Clarice grabbed a bottle of Coke out of the fridge and sat down on the sofa with her new acquisition.Flipping through the work she realized it was not actually about serial killers, but rather an odd dissertation on the attraction of certain people that could only be described as tragic from the onset.Matt spent a considerable amount of time on women who fall for death row inmates and wind up marrying them, including several in depth case studies.He also touched briefly on battered woman syndrome.But the piece de resistance was no less than the romance between Hannibal 'the Cannibal' Lecter and the lovely former FBI agent Clarice Starling.

"Well, you little prick," she said out loud.

Matt had made this the focal point of his paper, using their 'relationship' as a textbook case of opposites attract carried to the infinite power.Utilizing many of the 'facts' used by the National Tattler, Matt had summed up his thesis with the interview with Clarice.Of course it contained nothing but assumption and innuendo, even going so far as to speculate that the relationship was consummated the night beside the Chesapeake Bay.He made a point of describing her decline, having to take the position of deputy in the tiny western Virginia town, spending her days on the Maritime Patrol Unit, busting poachers and illegal campfires, a far cry from her illustrious FBI career.He described her as 'wallowing in denial' and 'unable to face the awful truth' that Lecter was in love with her.More damaging was his assertion that Ms. Starling was in fact in love with Lecter in return, although she was loathe to admit it.He summed it all up by saying these 'two people would never be happy apart from one another, and that for obvious reasons a life together would be no less than fatal'.

Clarice momentarily considered filing a libel suit, but thought better of it, since that kind of publicity would do more harm than good.Relax, she told herself.It's just a stupid thesis.No one will ever even see it.

Halfway across the globe, in Sydney, Australia, Dr. Hannibal Lecter was in the midst of sketching when his mail was dropped through the slot in his door.He put the finishing touches on his version of Botticelli's 'Birth of Venus'.His rendering of the Goddess of Love bore a remarkable resemblance to a former Special Agent Starling, as she stood coquettishly upon her seashell.Lecter rose and gathered the deposit made by the postal worker.

Among the mundane junk mail and bills, he received his monthly copy of the American Journal of Psychiatry.Tossing the rest aside he went to sit and peruse the Journal.Flipping through, his eyes were immediately drawn to a picture of none other than himself.Expecting another pompous psychiatrist had tried to explain his 'mad genius', Lecter settled back to enjoy.However he soon discovered that a professor at the University of Chicago had been so impressed with the thesis of one of his students, that he had submitted a portion of it for publication.

The unusual theory, coupled with Dr. Lecter's notoriety, was too much to pass up. The Journal devoted a four page spread to "Star Cross'd: Romeo and Juliet Syndrome", including pictures of the principal characters.On the third page were some less than flattering photos of Clarice, mostly courtesy of the Tattler. 

Lecter read and reread the article five times before putting it down.Wallowing in denial, indeed.He had no doubt Mr. McIntyre's speculations tended to be more shock value than actual insight, however Dr. Lecter wondered what hadn't made it into the thesis.Matthew McIntyre had actually met with Clarice.Lecter felt an urge to speak with his tragic ladylove, but was bound by his word of honor.Perhaps he could kill two birds with one stone.

He immediately went to his laptop and remarked to himself how easy it was to arrange global travel in these days of the World Wide Web.

Special Agent Eric Reid sat at his desk in what was once christened 'Hannibal's House'.He had reluctantly inherited the office space upon the departure of Clarice Starling.Eric had known Starling more by reputation and office gossip, and he felt that even though she seemed to have a connection with the man they sought, she had been a loose cannon, and good riddance.He wasn't exactly happy with the assignment, but dug his heels in to do the best job possible.

Eric had been called out to the house on Chesapeake Bay three years ago and had interviewed Starling in regards to Lecter's escape.He never quite bought her story, but the evidence seemed to substantiate it.Still in the back of his mind, Clarice Starling would always be the wild card in this investigation.

A junior agent assigned to Reid walked into the windowless room and said, "Eric have I got something for you."He had been assigned to collect all information on the fugitive doctor published throughout the world.It was a long and boring task, but on this occasion he felt he'd hit the jackpot.

He slapped a copy of the American Journal of Psychiatry in front of Reid.With a sigh Eric said, "Another psych profile?I'm not exactly interested in whether or not he's got an Oedipal Complex."

"Uh uh.Check out page 10."

Reid opened the publication to the indicated page, his mouth turned down in a frown.His eyes darted back and forth as he took in the contents.After a few moments the corners of his mouth turned up."Hot damn," he swore quietly.Looking up at his associate he said, "Not bad at all.I wouldn't put money down on how accurate it is but I'd bet on one thing: Lecter's gonna freak when he sees it."

"You think he'll try to contact her again?"

"Sure."

"So you think maybe she did it?I mean sleep with him and let him go?"

Reid turned up his nose in distaste."She's a weird one, but I can't imagine she'd be that freaky.If I find out she did though, I'll nail her ass.Now get some field agents down to Bedford County.I want her watched."

Continued


	4. 

Disclaimer:

Chapter 4:Come Undone

Hannibal Lecter's plane landed in O'Hare International Airport at quarter past four, Tuesday, May 12th, and a few sensible phone calls to the University of Chicago netted him with an address, which he gave to the an awaiting cab driver.

Matthew McIntyre's apartment building on Blackstone Avenue was ideal in many ways, notable it's proximity to the main campus as well as to his job in a local coffee shop, called the Last Drip.Walking home after closing the shop, Matt pondered how much he wanted to get out of the city.Maybe he could set up shop in Baltimore.

Matt was bone tired after walking up three flights of stairs, and couldn't imagine anything beyond falling into bed.He opened his door and swore softly into the darkness.He was sure he'd left a light on; perhaps the bulb had burnt out.Flipping the switch next to the door, the living room lamp illuminated the small room perfectly.Wrinkling his nose in confusion, Matt turned and hung his coat on the stand next to the door.

Deciding on a drink before bed he started towards the kitchen."Good evening, Mr. McIntyre," a voice rang out from just inside the bedroom door.The owner of the voice moved into the light and Matt saw a distinguished gentleman, wearing fine Armani.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Matt exclaimed.

"That's no way to treat a guest, my dear boy.Perhaps you could invite me to sit down?"

"Who the hell *_are*_ you?Are you from the university?"

"Well in absence of a proper invitation I shall just suit myself."The gentleman proceeded to seat himself onto Matt's lumpy futon.With a slight scowl he said, "I've felt worse, but not by much."

"Dude, who are you?"

"Certainly if you are going to write such intimate details of someone's love life, you should be able to identify them."

"Wha-?Dr. Lecter?" Matt squinted at him.

"In the flesh, so to speak."

"This is such an honor!" he gushed."What brings you here?"

"I'm interested in the details of your research.What could bring you to such conclusions?"

"Why the tapes of course."

"What tapes?"

"The tapes made while you were in the insane asylum," Matt burst out barely noting the narrowing of the other man's eyes."The ones with you and Clarice."

"Ms. Starling to you young man.Where would you get such tapes?"

"From eBay.This guy sells 'em, who apparently found them in some doctor's office when they were cleaning it out after it went bust.They're just bad copies, but some of it's pretty interesting."

"Give them to me."

"They cost me fifty bucks man."

"Don't make me ask you a second time."

Matt hustled over to his desk in the corner of the room and reached into the middle drawer, drawing out three tapes banded together.He walked over to the futon and handed them to Dr. Lecter.

"Thank you very much," Dr. Lecter said getting up from the futon."Now you are going to do me a small favor, and then we will part ways amicably."Matt, wide eyed, simply nodded."Are you familiar with the ancient Egyptian custom of mummification?"Another nod."In order to remove the brains the Egyptians would heat a poker red hot and thrust it up through the nostril, swirling it around a bit before ripping out the brains," he said gesturing in a downward motion with his hand for emphasis."I've always wondered how it would work with a live subject.If I find that you have talked to anyone about our little chat tonight, perhaps I'll get a chance to find out, hmmm?"

"I swear to God, I'll take it to the grave."

With a feral smile Dr. Lecter said, "Yes you will."Walking over to the boy and placing a paternal hand on his shoulder, he said, "Now for that favor."

Clarice was getting ready for bed when her phone rang.Picking up the kitchen extension, she said, "Hello?"

"Miss, uh Deputy Starling?" a faint voice said.

"Yes this is she."

"Um, Deputy, this is Matt McIntyre, we met…"

"Yes I remember you," she said."You have a lot of nerve calling me after writing that filth!"

"Hey, I got an A for that paper, and it was published."

"It was what?!"

"My prof got it published in the American Journal of Psychiatry," he declared proudly.Clarice could only groan."Listen the reason I called, well, there's someone here, a mutual acquaintance."

"A mutual-?You're not talking about Dr. Lecter are you?If this is some kind of sick joke…"

"Yes I am and no it's no joke."

"Mr. McIntyre, as an officer of the law I have to recommend you immediately contact your local authorities."

"Oh no, no.There was mention of a hot poker and my brains, and I'd really not like to find out what happens when they meet."

"What does he want?"

"Well, ma'am, he'd like to speak with you, but only if you are willing."Clarice walked over to her refrigerator and laid her forehead against the coolness of the appliance's skin.

"Put him on," she said.

There was some background noise from the phone passing from hand to hand, and then the sweet rasp of Dr. Lecter's voice said, "Hello Clarice.Sorry to bother you so late."

"Dr. Lecter what are you doing?Are you going to hurt that boy?"

"Now Deputy, you know I am a man of my word."In Chicago Matt was the recipient of a smile so cold he shivered down to his toes.

"Then what?"

"I simply needed a way to contact you that wouldn't break our agreement.Mr. McIntyre knows the rules of this game; he will be safe.It is so good to hear your voice again, Clarice, but do tell me, deputy is only a small leap from Town Watchman, don't you agree?And why stop at western Virginia?A few miles over the Blue Ridge Mountains, and you'd fit right into Daddy's shoes."Clarice balled up her fist and pounded the fridge door in response."Did Mr. McIntyre's obtuse ramblings cause you much distress, Clarice?"

"Yes," she managed to get out.

"I myself was not disturbed; as you can imagine much worse has been written about me.However I am interested in fleshing out the truth from it.Tell me Clarice, is your life where you wanted it to be?Tell the truth, I'll know if you lie."

"No Doctor, it's not."

"Why not?What happened since our last meeting that caused you to plummet in such a downward spiral?"

"I feel numb Doctor.I've felt dead inside since that night."

"Well then perhaps we have a little unfinished business.Maybe if we got together for a little tete a tete I might be able to assist you regain your lost sensation."

"Doctor…"

"The Drake Hotel, here in Chicago Clarice.Ask for Dr. Johann Bozeman.You'll be able to remember that won't you?"

"Yes."She was raised in the Lutheran Orphanage in Bozeman, Montana.

"Tomorrow is Wednesday.The drive to Chicago is nearly thirteen hours, although in that overcharged machine of yours you could almost certainly do it in eleven.The deadline is Thursday at noon.That should give you plenty of time.Oh and Clarice, I wouldn't notify the authorities if I were you.Should I be captured, I would undoubtedly have to reveal your involvement in my continued freedom."

"Doctor, is that a threat?" she asked, her tongue suddenly felt like sandpaper.

"Guilty conscience?How can one threaten with the truth?"The shrewd smile was communicated across hundreds of miles of cable."Don't worry about hurting my feelings if you opt not to show, Clarice.This is for you alone to decide.Thursday at noon is your deadline.Sweet dreams."Clarice held the phone to her ear, still leaning against the fridge door, until the canned voice kindly asked her to hang up and try her number again.

Continued


	5. Taking Flight

Disclaimer:

Chapter 5:Taking Flight

Agent Lloyd burst into the office."Eric, she's on the move."

"What do you mean?"

"She left her house first thing this morning, went to work and told them she was taking an indefinite leave of absence, then went to the bank and withdrew all the money from her bank accounts.Then she headed out of town."

"I want her followed.I want to know exactly where she's going."

"Already on it."

If you were to ask Clarice Starling what she packed for her journey, she would most likely tell you only a few changes of clothes.Perhaps it just slipped her mind that she also packed the small photo album of her family she'd managed to take with her to Montana; or the file of personal papers including her passport, birth certificate, and diplomas from high school, UVA, and the FBI Academy; or even the photo of her and Ardelia Mapp following the graduation ceremony, each holding their certificates high in the air, grinning like they owned the world.And if you were to ask her why she withdrew her entire life savings, consisted of almost $8000 cash and a CD that would be worth $50,000 plus interest when she cashed it in in another 10 years, she would just tell you that a girl had to be prepared.If you were to suggest to her that perhaps she was shedding her old life for a new one, she would tell you you were crazy.

It was shortly after 9 pm when Clarice found herself on the outskirts of Chicago.Tired and road weary, she checked into a small motel along the roadside, frequented by truck drivers and traveling salespeople.She was up and out by 8 am Thursday morning and at 10:08 she was turning right off of North Lake Shore Drive onto East Walton Place.Pulling up in front of the Drake Hotel she was in awe of the grand structure.

Feeling underdressed in jeans and a t-shirt she went to the front desk and asked for Dr. Johann Bozeman."And you are?" the pompous clerk asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Clarice Starling," she replied, with her heart pounding in her ears.

"Well, then this is for you," the girl said handing her an envelope.Clarice saw her name written on the outside of the mauve envelope in the fine copperplate and felt the knot she'd awoken with in her stomach growing.

Looking up at the desk clerk she asked, "You mean he's not here?"

"No ma'am," the girl said impatiently."He is not here.He checked out early this morning.Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No."Blindly she shuffled to her car in the parking garage.

She sat there practicing deep breathing exercises for a few moments before slipping her finger under the flap.There were two pieces of paper, a letter and a drawing done in pastels.Clarice recognized the sketch as the 'Birth of Venus' even though she couldn't recall the original artist.It was beautifully rendered and took her breath away.Setting it aside, with a slight blush in her cheeks, she opened the letter.

"Dearest Clarice,

  
The fact that you have picked up this letter indicates your willingness to start your life anew, to walk on the wild side.It reminds me of a mutual friend, someone who dearly loves gambling.Perhaps someday the three of us can sit down and play a game of poker together.The jacks would be wild then wouldn't they?

Of course I can't tell you my exact location, so you'll just have to figure it out for yourself.Hopefully it won't stick in your gullet.

Now, I really must go and rest, as it is almost sundown. Hurry Clarice, time is short.

Ta,

Hannibal Lecter, MD

PS As the soothsayer once told Caesar, 'Beware the Ides.'"

Clarice's blood ran cold.He was playing his stupid games again.*_Well damn him*_, she thought throwing the letter onto the passenger seat and leaning forward to rest her head on the steering wheel.

Eventually she regained her composure, sat back, and picked up the letter.Emptying her head she looked at the words to see what popped out at her.The first thing was the sentence 'hopefully it won't stick in your gullet'.That just didn't sound right to her.Tapping her temple with her finger she blurted out, "No, no – it's stuck in your craw.That's the phrase."Craw?Looking at the words again her eyes were drawn to the word jacks.A mutual friend who liked to gamble?Jack Crawford.Ding ding went off in her head.Of course, Jack had been dead for over two years.He certainly wouldn't be playing poker any time soon.This wasn't getting her any closer.

Re-reading, she thought it was way out of character for Dr. Lecter to talk about needing a rest.It dawned on her that he might mean Jack Crawford's final resting place, which would be Arlington National Cemetery.Slamming her hand on the steering wheel she screamed, "Well I'll be goddamned!Making me drive all the way out here just to make me turn around and go back.Sonofabitch!"But of course she couldn't just let it go, she was in too deep now.

All that remained was determining when he wanted this meeting.In the last line he referred to the Ides.Clarice recalled studying the play 'Julius Caesar' in school.The Roman Emperor was murdered on the Ides of March.Yet this was May.Leaning back in her seat she closed her eyes.She could vaguely remember her British Lit professor explaining that Shakespeare had not invented the term for his play; it was in fact a widely used expression for many centuries.It's literal meaning was 'to divide', and was used to define the middle day of any month, usually the 15th.Tomorrow was May 15.Tomorrow then, at sundown.

"Alright Doctor, I'll be there.Tomorrow it's all coming to an end."She bent over and opened the glove box to get out her map.She had to move her .45 aside to get it.

Throwing the Mustang into gear, she roared out of the parking garage, earning an angry horn as she cut in front of a taxicab.Twenty minutes later she was hurtling down the Dan Ryan Expressway, silently fuming at the way Dr. Lecter continued to manipulate her.However as distracted as she was she couldn't fail to notice the dark sedan that followed no less than three car lengths behind, no matter how fast she went.The sedan, so non-descript it stood out like a sore thumb, could only be FBI.

Clarice, in the far left hand lane, noticed an exit coming up rapidly.Taking a deep breath she cranked the wheel sharply to the right, ignoring the chorus of shouts and horns as she barely missed side swiping other vehicles, and only just managed to make it to the exit.A look in the mirror showed that the agents weren't able to maneuver over fast enough; they would have to go to the next exit, five miles down, before attempting to gain their quarry again.Clarice backtracked on a road parallel to the expressway and reentered at the next onramp up.She was satisfied that she was alone, at least for now.

She couldn't help but wonder if Dr. Lecter had known she'd be followed.Would the FBI be looking in psychiatric journals for clues to his whereabouts?*_I would*_, she answered herself.Maybe there was a method to his madness, some of it at least.

"What do you mean you've lost her?" Agent Reid shouted into the phone."I want an APB put out immediately.And you'd better scour that city."Hanging up the phone, he threw a pencil across the room in frustration.He looked up at the man standing before him."Give me some good news, Lloyd.What the hell was she doing in Chicago?"

"A check of phone records indicates a call to the Starling residence shortly before midnight Tuesday night.The call came from a Chicago number listed under the name Matthew L. McIntyre."He paused before his boss for effect.All he received was an impatient gesture to continue."Two field agents were dispatched to the residence to question him.I have just received the faxed report."He raised his hand to read from the paper he held."Mr. McIntyre vehemently denied having had any contact with the man known as Hannibal Lecter, stating, 'Dude that guy's creepy!'When questioned why he phoned Deputy Starling two nights ago, he simply replied, 'I had to apologize for disrespecting her person.' "

"Any idea why she was at the Drake?"

"She was asking for a Dr. Johann Bozeman, a guest who checked out of the hotel earlier that morning.He left a letter for her."

"Clues on what was in the letter?"

"None.The clerk who checked Dr. Bozeman out was shown mug shots of Lecter, but she couldn't give a positive ID.I'd bet my next paycheck it was him."

"Me too."Reid sat with his fingers steepled beneath his chin for a moment."That's it?"

"That's it."

"Something big's going down, Lloyd, I can feel it.We need to find Starling before it's too late for her."

Continued


	6. Lavender and Silk

Disclaimer:

Chapter 6:Lavender and Silk

It was long past dark when Clarice pulled into the parking lot of the Motel 6 in Arlington, Virginia.Checking in under a false name and paying with cash, she went to her room carrying a bag from the closest fast food restaurant she could find.

After eating she slipped under the covers and was fast asleep.

It was almost noon on Friday, May 15th when she opened her eyes in the motel room.The heavy drapes kept out the morning sun, and when she opened them she flinched back from the brilliance of the day.

She was hungry, having fasted for over 12 hours, but felt a greater need in her bones.After spending 24 of the last 48 hours on the road she needed to get outside and get her tense body working again.Grabbing shorts, her jog bra, an old t-shirt, her running shoes, and some sweat socks out of her duffle bag, she quickly dressed then brushed her teeth.She laced up the well-worn Nikes and strapped a fanny pack around her waist to hold her wallet and room key.Picking up her sunglasses on the way out, she locked the room and walked to the front of the building.

The motel was located on a stretch of road filled with souvenir shops, fast food restaurants, and strip malls, the likes of which are commonly found in close proximity to major interest sites.Clarice began a slow jog up the avenue, getting comfortable with her stride.She let her mind wander and her body do the work.

Thinking about the circumstances of the last two days brought her a sense of relief she felt ashamed of.The rise and fall of her career had been at the hands of Dr. Lecter.Hearing from him again should not be a good thing.She should feel enraged.But she'd been living in an emotional void for the past three and a half years, and frankly anything that stirred her long dead heart felt good.

Seeing the commercial property around her starting to thin out, she checked her watch.She'd been running for almost half an hour.She calculated she'd run about 4 miles; turning around she started back the way she came.By the time she'd completed the circuit she was red-faced and sweating, but her body felt loose and flexible again.

She was not quite at the motel yet and saw a cluster of stores to her right.There was a mannequin in the front window of one of the stores wearing a dove gray suit with a heather pink silk shirt.It was lovely and she made an impulsive decision to purchase it.A little bell rang as she walked into the air conditioned cooled shop alerting the commission hungry salesgirls.Before any of them could approach her, Clarice walked over to the display to look for her size, which she found easily.

She went to the back of the store and laid her choices on the counter.The clerk took one look at her disheveled appearance and said, "I suppose you need to try them on?"

With her sweetest smile she replied, "No, I'm sure of the size."

"Fine."The clerk rang up the three items for a total of $201.87.Clarice pulled out her wallet and removed two hundred-dollar bills and a five.She dumped the change back into her fanny pack and took her bag, flipping a little wave to the young sales girl.

A few doors down she encountered a shoe store.Inside she found a pair of Prada shoes the exact shade of heather as her shirt.She didn't even blink an eye at the $150 price tag.

Walking out the door she was assaulted with the overwhelming fragrance that comes out of those bath and body shops you can find in every mall across the country.Entering the boutique next door she saw every bath bead, body lotion, fragrance spray, or candle anyone could possible need.Wandering up and down the isles, she didn't have anything in particular in mind, when she came across a gift set that included bath oil, body lotion, and spray, in a lavender scent.The back of the bottles proclaimed that lavender 'relaxes, soothes, restores and balances your body and mind'.*_Well I can certainly use some of that_* Clarice thought.She purchased the set, as well as a couple of candles.

As she walked out of the boutique she checked her watch.It was after four and her stomach verbally reminded her that she still hadn't eaten.She walked to a sandwich shop at the end of the strip and ordered a veggie wrap with a Coke.She sat at an outdoor table and enjoyed her late lunch/early dinner.

By the time she reached her room it was almost five.She deposited her bags on the bed, taking out the bottle of bath oil and started the tub filling with hot water, dumping a quarter of the bottle in.She lit the candles, placing them around the room and pealed off her clothes before sinking into the fragrant bath water.Closing her eyes, she laid her head back against the plastic tub enjoying a little relaxation of mind for the encounter that was to come.

When the water became tepid she released the drain and turned on the shower, quickly washing her hair.Grabbing a towel as she stepped out she dried herself off before generously applying the body lotion and spray.Now she slowly dressed piece by piece.Before putting on the jacket she slipped on her Yaqui side holster.Checking the mirror to make sure there was no unseemly bulge in the material she was silently pleased at her choice to purchase the outfit.

She spent several more moments in front of the mirror styling her hair followed by some quick attempts at makeup.The Lutherans had eschewed makeup, and Clarice had found little need in it in her later years.She was only mildly concerned at her sudden need to primp.

After packing up her belongings into the large duffle, she blew out the candles and took everything out to her car.She drove around to the front desk to return her key.She was out on the street and driving towards the cemetery at quarter past six.

She nodded at the Marine guard as she drove through the gate at Arlington National Cemetery and found an easy parking spot as it was close to closing time.She purchased two yellow roses and entered the well-manicured lawn and acres of symmetrically placed white grave markers.

Agent Reid muttered in frustration.It was almost seven o'clock, his wife was going to kill him when he got home.He had just shut down his computer when the telephone rang.

"Reid here," he grunted.

"It's Lloyd.We've got a report of Starling's car entering Arlington National Cemetery."

"No shit!I'm on it."He threw the receiver back into the cradle and grabbed his jacket as he ran out the door.

Continued


	7. Greeting Old Friends

Disclaimer:

Chapter 7:Greeting Old Friends

Clarice meandered among the white headstones in a vaguely direct route.

The first marker she came to a stop in front of caused her heart to twist like a pretzel.In a flash of memory she was back at the Feliciana Fish Market watching her friend John Brigham blown away by Evelda Drumgo.Then, in another flash, she was burying him.

She laid one of the roses on the top of the stone, a little disconcerted to find it warm, then realizing the bright afternoon sun had transferred some of it's energy into the cool marble.With head bent and eyes closed, she softly whispered, "Grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."

It reminded her of the few weeks she'd spent in AA, after her drinking had become more habit than recreational.It had taken only those few weeks for Clarice to understand the other alcoholics in attendance drank to become numb; she was drinking to feel something.That revelation helped induce her continued sobriety in later months, even when screams inside her head became deafening.

Leaving the rose, she turned and started walking further into the cemetery.Towards the second head stone she'd had to secure.Childless and widowed for over a decade, Jack Crawford had no one to oversee his final business.Clarice had found herself once again in charge of burying a friend, a comrade in arms.And in the back of her mind, in that place she never dared to go, a voice whispered, 'You finally got to bury your father.'

"Oh get bent," she said out loud as she reached her destination.As she did at John Brigham's grave, Clarice laid the other rose on the top of the stone.This one lay in the shade of a large elm tree and did not absorb the sun's heat.It was cool to the touch and reminded her morbidly of Crawford's dead hand as she had paid her last respects at his funeral.Snatching her hand back, she stood quietly waiting for something to happen, anything.While it was her nature to be proactive instead of reactive, he had laid out the game so she had no choice in the matter.

As the sun began to sink further down towards the horizon, leaving brush strokes of purple, orange, and red, the voice came to her, like it had so many nights in her dreams."Hello Clarice.It is so good to see you again, and I'm pleased you've made an effort to look presentable for me."

Her gun was out before the first words were finished, sweeping a quick 360-degree arc.There was no sign of anyone around her.

"It is a shame about old Jackie-Boy though.To die alone and impotent.Do you wish you'd been with him at the end Clarice?"The disembodied voice caressed her and she cursed her heart for speeding up in response.

"Where are you doctor?"

"Indulge me for a moment please.Answer the question."She was certain the voice was coming from behind the tree and kept her gun trained on it.

"Yes, I would have liked to have been with him. He deserved better than that."

"And what do you deserve, my little Starling?Don't you deserve a little peace?"

"You were supposed to give me peace, doctor.What made you break your word?"She took a step closer.

"I most certainly do want to give you the peace you deserve, Deputy.Perhaps you could trust that the doctor knows best for once.What did you think of my drawing?"

"It was very well done."

"Well thank you for that clever review.Now tell me how it made you feel."

"Feel?I was a little embarrassed."

"Why?Certainly you've been told how beautiful you are before.But I want to know how you *_felt_* Clarice.What did the picture tell you?"

"I felt," she paused to lick her lips."I felt loved."Did she say the words out loud?The evening cicadas had started their song and for several breaths she felt like the only resident on an alien planet.

"Bravo.That's what we call a breakthrough in the business.Now tell me, ex-agent Starling, why are you still pointing your gun at me?"

Looking at her outstretched arms she began to question it herself.*_How far am I prepared to go_?*"I've got to keep the upper hand with you Doctor Lecter," she said."You've caused me too much trouble already."The cicadas kept singing, and the alien feeling grew worse."Doctor?" she asked tentatively, before the other voice rang out from behind.

"FBI!Drop your weapon!"

Continued


	8. Darkness Falls

Disclaimer:

Chapter 8:Darkness Falls

Clarice pivoted quickly to her left and found herself gun barrel to gun barrel with a man she'd previously met on the most important night of her life."Agent Reid, is it?I suppose it was your people following me?"

"That's right Starling.Now where is he?"

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb with me.We've talked to the McIntyre kid."

"What did he tell you?"

With a smile he replied, "Nothing.The look on your face told me everything.Now where is he?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Clarice saw a shadow move away from the tree at her right.She didn't risk moving her eyes away from Reid; she couldn't risk him disabling her with a bullet to the leg or shoulder.The figure seemed to be making a wide semicircle, first away from then towards Reid, possibly to stay out of his own peripheral vision.

To Reid she replied, "I don't know."

"Don't give me any more of your crap.Why'd you do it Starling?Was it money?They say everyone has their price, what was yours?"

"My father.He learned several personal facts about me and used them to get into my head and manipulate me.I'm here tonight to bring an end to it all, to end the head games."She had slowly lowered her gun a fraction, giving herself a more vulnerable appearance, all the time tracking the figure that was becoming more and more distinct as it entered her field of vision.

Reid, in response to her relaxed posture, lowered his own weapon a bit."That's all well and good Deputy, but that's not exactly your job.Why don't you tell me where he is and I'll handle it.If you cooperate with me I'll recommend leniency."

The figure was mere feet from Reid now, moving with feline patience and stealth.Starling could see the glint of something metallic, possibly a knife, in the waning dusk light.At that moment time seemed to get stuck in molasses.Clarice's heart rate slowed to 50 beats per minute, then to 20, then she was between beats and all was still.She could see the picture before her and knew she had to make a choice, the same choice she had made so many times before.Life or death, death or life.Was she strong enough?

Time sped up again and she heard herself say, "Don't bother doctor."Reid had a half a moment to look confused before her gun was raised and fired.The sound was unnaturally loud in the empty cemetery and the muzzle flash bright in the darkening evening.

As the gun smoke cleared, Clarice stared ahead at what she had done.A hand on her arm brought to her attention that she was still in the ready position.She slowly lowered her arms and he gently removed the weapon from her hand."What have I done?" she asked.Silently he laid a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

Shaking the hand off, she walked the dozen steps to look down at the body that stared up at her with an accusatory third eye.Her aim was true, entering the center of the forehead precisely.

"Oh Hannibal, what have I done?" she cried, tears pricking her eyes.The cool of the evening made her shiver and she hugged her arms across her chest helplessly.

Continued


	9. If You Loved Me

Disclaimer:

Chapter 9:If You Loved Me

"What you have done," the voice breathed in her ear, "is to free yourself, my love."He was so close she could smell his aftershave, his soap, his warmth.She turned towards the heat radiating from him and fell into the comfort of his arms.They stood that way for as long as they could before he pushed her away gently and said, "The Marines will be coming."

She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes."I hope you have another way out, doctor."He simply smiled and took hold of her hand.She felt propelled by the force of his person as much as by the grip on her wrist.He led her to the shrubbery that outlined the edge of the cemetery.They went into the bushes, which acted as cover for a chain link fence, and he held up a flap of the fence that he'd previously cut.She paused and looked back in the direction of the cooling corpse that once had been Special Agent Reid.

"I'm a criminal."She looked back at Hannibal and was about to repeat the declaration when he placed a finger to her lips to silence her.

"You are mine."He replaced the finger with his lips.For their second kiss, Clarice found herself returning the passion blissfully.He pulled away and gestured towards the hole."After you."He ushered her through and followed behind.

They came out on a busy street.He indicated a dark red BMW parked across the street and together they crossed to the car.He pulled out his car keys and hit the button on the remote control, the BMW beeping in response.They got in and Clarice sunk into the leather seat.Suddenly she sat up straight."My bag.I left it in my car.It has everything."

"Not to worry.I took the liberty of removing it while you were paying your respects to the late Mr. Brigham."He nodded towards the back.

She turned and saw her duffle sitting on the seat."Well, you certainly think of everything don't you?"Relieved, she sat back and secured her seatbelt.They could already hear the sirens approaching.

"Where to my dear?"

She looked at him with a tired smile and said, "Just drive.And if you love me you won't stop for a goddamned thing."

The End


End file.
